By Jessica Massa, Special to CNN

When I traveled across the United States a few years ago, I interviewed more than 100 men, women and couples about their love lives in cities big and small. My mission was to figure out what connection, romance and love actually looks like in today’s day and age.

What I found was that we’re living in a post-dating world.

The happy couples I talked to had not met and immediately started dating. Instead, they connected in more natural — and yes, ambiguous — settings. They played on the same volleyball team or were co-workers on a political campaign. Or they hung out in the same social group or were friends for years before getting intimately involved or got intimately involved right off the bat with no initial relationship plans. Or they met each other while living in different parts of the country and got to know each other via Facebook or Gchat before committing to full-on romances.

Instead of going on explicit dates, they had tested the romantic waters, moved in and out of gray areas, and used technology to explore the various aspects of their connection before putting labels or expectations on their relationship.

This romantic ambiguity was also reflected in my conversations with people who were single. Asked to define their romantic status, they gave me answers like, “Well, it’s sort of up in the air …” and “It’s really complicated! How much time do you have?” and “I would define it as, hmm, dating? Ish? Dating-ish?”