Leslie Morgan Steiner a vécu un “crazy love” — c’est-à-dire être éperdument amoureuse d’un homme qui abusait d’elle régulièrement et menaçait sa vie. Steiner nous raconte la sombre histoire de sa relation, corrigeant les idées fausses à propos des victimes de violences conjugales et expliquant comment nous pouvons tous aider à rompre le silence.

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Relationship Violence: The Secret That Kills 4 Women a Day

by Liz Brody‘ Glamour

He “threatened me,” “strangled me with a PlayStation cord,” “lunged at me with a pocketknife.” A horror movie? No, real life for far too many young women, an exclusive new Glamour survey reveals. Why is relationship violence still so frighteningly common in 2011? And how can we help? The answer starts with two simple words: Tell Somebody.
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But cultural complacency may be only one reason relationship violence persists. New technology is playing a part too. For years experts have known—and told victims—that any partner who constantly needs to know where you are and what you’re doing is a dangerous partner, that such “monitoring” often leads to physical violence. But these days it’s become so acceptable for couples, colleagues and friends to text and email one another at any given moment that women may miss those early danger signs. What’s more, GPS and computer spyware are cropping up increasingly in stalking and dating violence cases. “Abusers can now be on you 24/7,” says Cindy Southworth, founder of the Safety Net Project, a team of experts on digital abuse at the National Network to End Domestic Violence.

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Escape

Magazine 5280

Each year, more than 18,000 victims of domestic violence call SafeHouse Denver’s hot line. Meet one of them.

Domestic violence research has yet to pinpoint a definite predictor of why one person and not another becomes a victim. They don’t look or act a certain way. Some live paycheck to paycheck; others never worry about the rent. Some have Ph.D.s; others never made it through high school. Some are outspoken; others are wallflowers. Their one commonality: They gravitate toward men who want to control them. This is why falling in love can turn out to be the most dangerous thing a woman ever does.

With their destination decided, they now had to determine what to pack once they were ready to leave their entire lives behind. Krystal told her kids to take only what they couldn’t do without. She knew the more they left things looking normal, the longer it would take him to figure out they’d gone. Leave the toys. Leave the pictures. Leave the Mercedes. Leave the lease, the report cards, the Xbox, the medical records, the money. Leave the dogs.

A day earlier, Krystal had stuffed some shoes in a suitcase and pulled pants and shirts out of her closet before taking the luggage to a trusted friend’s house. She shuffled the remaining hangers to make it look like nothing was missing. I want it to look like he’d expect it to be. The next night, after dinner, she told him she was taking the kids for ice cream. She gave him every indication she’d be back in a moment. On their way out the door, she stole one last glance at the puppies, and thought, Man, I’m leaving.